How To Get Rid Of Your Fake Friends

Have you ever stopped and wondered why people you call your friends are actually your

friends? While genuine friendships see people having a lot in common, emotional upliftment and a shoulder to cry on, some friendships are conditional. According to counselling psychologist, Nthabiseng Mogashoa, if you want to get rid of fake friends, get married, lose weight or get a job! Mogashoa explains that some friends only stick around you to uplift themselves and feel better, and once you stop being their comfort zone, they run for the hills. "People are often shocked when they lose friends because wonderful things are happening in their lives, but it really isn't much of a shock. Some friends keep you around because you feed their ego, either by not looking attractive or being down on your luck. The minute you change your life and end their feeding frenzy, they give you the cold shoulder," she says. "But that is the beauty of it. The sooner someone can show you their true colours, the better. No one needs false people around them, let alone those you consider friends." Mogashoa gives a list of scenarios that could find you friend-less. LOSING WEIGHT American jazz singer and actress Ledisi Anibade Young is quoted as saying that following her recent four dress sizes weight loss, not everyone around her was happy for her. She chronicled how some friends were not happy that she lost weight, something that really shocked her. For Mogashoa, she says this is not shocking at all. "There is a simple explanation for why some people get jealous of friends who have recently undergone drastic weight changes. "In psychological terms, we call it levelling. Some people love stepping over others to feel better about themselves. Being the fat one of the bunch can make a person vulnerable to such emotional predators. "Anyone carrying a lot of weight is seen as the clown of the group, no competition, and someone who isn't on everyone else's level. This is the reason why some people may enjoy the company of overweight people, because then they get to steal the spotlight." Mogashoa says as a result, when the overweight person sheds some pounds, the claws come out. "Now they are getting the attention and compliments. Now they may suddenly have confidence, interact more with people and can be the life of the party." GETTING MARRIED /COMMITTED Rapper Kanye West also revealed how he lost friends when he got married to Kim Kardashian. "Not everyone will be happy that you found your happily-ever-after. Some friends will simply turn their backs on you for the simple reason that you are considered 'not fun' anymore. No longer can you go on all night drinking sprees, (and) engage in having multiple sexual once-off(s) and talking about it the following day while nursing a hangover," Mogashoa explains. "Some friends simply cannot handle you growing up. It becomes an uneven playing field because you cannot join them on their single-life escapades anymore, so after numerous failed attempts to get you back on their level, they will simply move on to other people who can feed their single-and-ready-to-mingle lifestyle." GETTING AN INCOME According to Mogashoa, some people like the concept of other people depending on them, especially if their friend is unemployed. "This is called the Messiah Complex. Some people have the need to restore, nurture and be the helping hand, and they tend to bring that mentality into their friendships," Mogashoa says. "In friendships where one friend works and the other does not, the Messiah Complex may come into play. The working friend may relish the idea of being depended upon. Always being the one who initiates outings, and always paying the bill. It gives them a sense of power and control over the other person." She adds that if there is a power shift, some friends will not be able to handle that. Mogashoa advises that if you ever find yourself in these scenarios, do not try to convince the other person otherwise. "Any animosity from your friends after undergoing a lifestyle change shows that the friendship was not genuine in the first place."